As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
