She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
