id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Hippo gnu deer
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
