I am puke
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
