this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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