I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
