apparently the secret to your success is patron
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
