I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
