ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
