this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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