'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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