they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
