yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
