I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
