My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
