i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
