Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
