My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
