Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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