I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
