Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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