Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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