Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
