just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
