You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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