About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
