Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I love you.
Bad choice
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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