yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
