when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
