He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
