areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
