She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
