and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
