i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
