Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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