His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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