It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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