You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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