Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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