i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
