Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
