Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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