Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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