question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
