my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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