It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
