I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
