i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
