you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
