I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
