he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
